WHY NOT TO GET MARRIED ?

Hello folks, Welcome you all .
Confused ? Surprised, that how this guy capsized the boat of all those religious materials and jumped onto this bizarre topic? Don’t worry I’ll tell you what actually triggered me to do this. But before that I’d like to thank all of you for such a huge response and appreciation for my previous blog – “Hindu Scriptures :Conceptions and Misconceptions”.
I hope you’ll love this one as well .
Looking at the title, some astute minds might have felt this article, a little bit funnier on a side (yes it is) , but some-way down the track, if one ponders , this can be serious too (for rests) . Nevertheless , speaking frankly and honestly ,you don’t need to get serious at all.This is just an opinion. Every one has his own point of views (be it a dogma or doctrine) and opinions .So make your mind fresh, appease the nerves and instead of only reading ,try to accustom to some of this portion and check if it’s tantamount to any of your views/beliefs. Because who knows, even you might get a sort of pick or two or more that would tick the chords in your heart and former beliefs,thus capsizing it on a different node.
Well , had it been around 7-8 years back , by reading this people would have driven me away , they would have dismissed it in an unceremonious way ,or even might have abused or slandered.

Wedding Bride and Groom_608x355 (1)

So before you start reading , following three points are must to be taken in consideration so that there should not be any type of confusion or issues to meander .

1. Yes , I’m a Misogamist .
2. I’m Hindu  and a hardcore pious .
3. I’m not a professional or very famous writer . So I had better not to preach you , I won’t and I don’t like it either .Read this blog as if your friend has written – with an amiable and gregarious attitude . If you like, please share .

general-wedding-card-messages

Okay , so let’s continue –

The latest survey conducted by one of the most prestigious matrimonial companies  depicts that In our world approximately 67 % people above  age  40 are married (including widows and widowers). While the rest , 33 % are unmarried .Of those 67% , if read this blog, may find it abominable and delirious . But ,for rest of the 33%,this article will alleviate their regrets , if there are any .
images
That was about married and unmarried people .Now I come to my target audience -The people who just entered their twenties.This article is especially for you. And I am 110 % sure and assure you as well that ,if you’re a sort of person who don’t want to marry or abhor the marriages or more precisely we can say, if you are a Misogamist (like I do) , this article will definitely boost up your firmness on your decision . On the other hand and the mass ,who want to go ahead with this  ” Two bodies and One soul ” kind of knit , I would be gratified if it helps in convalescing your thoughts by reading some clandestine issues of weddings .
In our 21st century (especially after 2008)  the world around have changed , many things have changed either. We’ve many people around us who themselves and tend (make) us as well to believe  that marriage is a union ordained by God and it is a beautiful as well as an amazing union of two people in love. In love? What’s this arrange marriage then ? Okay I agree that if there’s so called “True Love” (I don’t think if it exist) between two persons , then one may think of getting married. Yes , it’s totally cool and fine .Because as far as the true love that I know , is the one that breaks you but still keeps you together , it create distances but still brings you closer , it is the one that is credible and is forever. And as Shakespeare says “If you have power to love to an extent of doting, the God makes sure that your love finds its way in life ahead “. But if it doesn’t fall in aforementioned context, then my friend you’re fooling none but yourself . But don’t worry , you’re not alone .
kas-vegas-weddings-2
Sometimes you discern to situation where all your friends and acquaintances seem to be getting married, and you still can’t figure out how to get dressed up like a big kid for their weddings. Sure, some people view their young peers’ marriages as happy, normal events. But if you feel a little left in the dust when it comes to the marriage thing. And that’s why I said , you’re not alone .There are many around to accompany you .
In my opinion , whether you’re young or old, it is fine in some cases, even beneficial  to never get married. Here are some valid reasons that remaining unhitched , could actually leave you better off mentally , financially and even physically .

1. Now a days many people are not in a hurry to get married :
According to a survey , back in the early 1990s, the median age for marriage was 25 for men and 22 for women. But in 2014-15, the median ages for first marriages hit all-time highs of 29 for men and 27 for women. The report credits this change to, among other things, the fact that couples no longer feel the need to be married and the “competition from other lifestyles”, like living alone or living with partners. So, there’s no need to stress about not getting married everyone else is staying single too.

2. Wedding seems like an outdated tradition, and some people just don’t want to be a part of it.
 In recent TV show , the host  interviewed a group  and many of them had a dismal outlook .
Some of them saidMarriage is a conservative institution that organizes child-rearing and defines commitment, relationship and love “. In a book that I was reading these days ,it reads “In the United States’ current social climate, such a metric is quite popular, and therefore, relevant. However, marriage is expensive and likely to fail “

3. Marriage can lead to the risky habit of relying on one individual for every emotional need
         Bella Simon, a social psychologist and author of “Singled Out: How Singles are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After,” told The Huffington Post that many married couples make the mistake of turning their spouse into Everything else Partner. They look to them for all sources of contentment, like “companionship, intimacy, caring, friendship, advice, the sharing of the tasks and finances of household and family, and just about everything else.” This creates an unrealistic “cultural fantasy” that ultimately results in disappointment and unhappiness.

Indian_wedding_Delhi

4. For men, getting married can be the reason of being overweight . 

It’s a tired cliche that women feel they can “let themselves go” once they get married, but a recent study published in the journal ‘Families, Systems & Health’ shows that men are more like to be heavier ones on a side. After monitoring the eating habits, physical activity and the weights of 10000 young men in India, married men were 25 percent more likely to be overweight than men who were single or in a committed relationship. And according to the study, about 60 percent of married men were overweight compared to about 40 percent of married women .

5. These days, a happy marriage requires a serious commitment of time and energy that’s not easy to maintain.

A recent research on married couple depicts , “Individuals who can invest enough time and energy in their partnership are seeing unprecedented benefits.” And how much is enough time? According to sociologists Jeffrey Dew and W. Bradford Wilcox, married couples who spend time alone talking or doing an activity together at least once a week were three times more likely to be happier than those who did not .
Seems pretty easy to achieve, except for the fact that most Indians  are extremely busy. Raman also reported that among married couples without children, time spent with each other’s spouse declined from 35 hours to 26 each week. Much of this was due to each person needing (or wanting) to spend more time at work. And those with children saw a decrease of 13 hours per week to nine, likely due to an increase in time spent with their children .

WynfreyWedding-31

So as you see ,these all were the reasons that marching youngsters to port an anathema of weddings. I’m talking especially about those arrivistes .Now that we’ve gone through all this , let’s also have a look over some Disadvantages of getting married .Here are some points that have been observed , written in several books, and been spoken in many soaps  that captures the disadvantages and risks in getting married now a days . Let’s see one by one :-

1. Live and compromise with only one person for the rest of your life. For some people, it is unfair to handle or live or bear  with only one person . (Don’t be confuse I’ll explain in next point)

2. If we take in consideration today’s scenario (and the way world is booming on scrolls ) , an average person lives till 70-75 (less but not more) . And an average man and woman tie a knot at the age of max 28-30 and 25-26 respectively.
From calculation , It’s been observed that He/she will be spending 40-45 years with a same person Which is, though they delude socially , is impossible for many people out there (exception of “true love” ), that tends to result in divorce and all that stuff about which I’d prefer not to discuss as each of you are familiar with.
Bottom line is — Can you spend 40-45 years with a single person ? Probably the one , once you even didn’t know of ?
Isn’t it a kind of compromise that has been imposed on you ? (Especially in arrange marriages)

3. Quite funny but making sense — The sacrifices or compromises you have to make in order to get along with your in-laws who particularly get on your nerves

4. Everything you own belongs to her/him and vice-versa .

5.  You have to give up so much of your freedom in order to stay “Happily” married .

6. Unless you’re a tycoon or any big businessman , You cannot afford to spend your own money at will because you have a family to support . (57% shared the same problem)

san-antonio-divorce-lawyer-Singapore1
7. As no option left ,  you have to live with the same person (who sometimes annoys or bores you to tears) for the rest of your life.

8. You cannot afford to be selfish, self-centered, self-conceited and inconsiderate anymore .

9. While reading an article in “Indian Express ” on “Live In Relationship” , it read a woman saying
“Marriage can impose an unwelcome self-definition. I do not want to be known as ‘Mrs. Attached-to-Somebody-Else.’

10. Catharine Stimpson, (once dean at NYU) , told the Times that getting married would undermine her “edgy nonconformist streak.” And the similar sort of problems, now women are facing.

11. An Italian poet wrote Marriage mentality overvalues one particular relationship and undervalues a wide range of other relationships, some of which are more egalitarian .And I really admire this.

12. Yes, and the most important one that especially effects middle class ,  is a set of practical concerns: People simply do not want the financial or legal entanglements that marriage entails .

no-marriage-300x300 (1)

So that’s all how it goes . Please don’t misunderstand me . As I mentioned before , it is just an opinion and point of view of mine, not necessary to be followed by each of you . And yes,just because I’m against marriage it doesn’t mean I support ‘Live in relationship’ and all that.I know marriage is such a stupendous thing (for many people ) and I really don’t want to hurt all of them who do believe so .I do also believe that there are many advantages and benefits of the same and I have personally observed them .In fact it would not be an exaggeration if I say my ‘Mom and Dad’ is the happiest couple I’ve ever seen .Any one would envy them .

But then again , the chronicle opens , and realize ,” Dude , they married in 90’s “.
And as you all know I’m talking about today’s scenario . As far as I’ve observed — From some ocular experiences , From books , Various articles , Movies etc , these are some black patches – downs of weddings .
Today things have changed to a great extent .Some unnecessary and superfluous exposures are affecting the minds of not only adults but the minors too (I hope you got my point–What i’m trying to say) .I’m convinced most people in long-term relationships are secretly miserable. Sure, it’s nice to have a partner to cuddle with, but relationships can also be terribly inconvenient .It depends on you , how you pick it up .As a teenager and a quite gregarious person,I’ve discerned this mentality of this generation as I spend mass of my time with them. Yes there are some exceptions , but literally, factually and unfortunately. they’re … “some”  !
So, I think I should stop my pen now .That’s all for today. Being firm and stable on my terms , I embrace this adjective with a joy and rejoice ! Yes… I AM A   M-I-S-O-G-A-M-I-S-T  !!!
Thank you all for your kind attention. See you next time with another more interesting topic,till then good bye , Have a nice day !

16

Click here to follow Aavishkar on Twitter

Read Aavishkar’s all blogs

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “WHY NOT TO GET MARRIED ?

  1. I dont agree this,this is a western culture approach who dont believe ob family system,only they are selfish

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s